Why Anal Only? Because It’s Pure Sex

There are so many reasons, including that for a lot of women (men and women both) it feels better, leads to better orgasms, is more intimate, is more naughty, and so on… but today’s focus will be on one specific aspect.

From a biological standpoint, vaginas are for reproduction. Their primary function is to create offspring. The pleasure derived from that process exists just as a motivation to reproduce. However, the vast majority of sex people have is not for reproductive purposes. We’ve gotten quite good at preventing unwanted pregnancy from happening, and people are fucking constantly with no intent of having kids. But there’s still always the risk, and the fact that even though that’s not the intent, vaginal sex is mimicking reproductive sex.

Anal sex, however, is different. You can’t get pregnant in your ass, so there’s nothing reproductive about it at all. It’s pure sex for pleasure. It’s just partners enjoying their bodies and the pleasure they can give themselves and each other. And that makes it even hotter, and lets people get lost in themselves more easily. Free to fuck without concern about pregnancy or a biological obligation to reproduce, without birth control messing up her hormones and libido, without condoms (if you’re in a monogamous relationship), and just focusing on the pleasure her asshole gives and gets.


Quote of the Day

Lucy, 34, a beautician, has been married for 10 years and has 4 kids.

For a long time I thought of anal as being the ultimate in submission or part of S&M, but with the right partner, it can be fantastic!

Once I’d been with my husband for a while I totally accepted my body and I stopped worrying about modesty. Still, it took a long time for me to want anal and to get pleasure from it. If you’re gentle, anal sex isn’t violent and once you’re used to it it’s great.  

I’d also heard that only men could achieve orgasm through anal sex, because you rub against the prostrate, which women don’t have. But I’ve had better orgasms through anal than I’ve had through vaginal penetration. You just need to take your time and be gentle.



Article of the Day: Why You Shouldn’t Have Anal Sex

Anal sex can be amazing - and orgasmic. As my friend and fellow sex educator Rachel Venning says, “Anal sex is like yoga for your butt!” And I agree. It’s healthy for the anal muscles, bringing blood and circulation into the sphincter. But I’m also not afraid to address the obstacles to having great anal play. Here are four valid reasons why you might not want to do it.

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The Many Roads Leading to the Anal Only Lifestyle

One of the best things about the community surrounding the anal only lifestyle is how many different ways people approach it, and how they’re all generally welcomed and embraced by the rest of the community. Here are a few of the different takes on anal only people have:

  1. People who truly prefer it up the ass to the point of being uninterested in any vaginal penetration. These are often the most fervent adherents to anal only, for obvious reasons—it’s the only way they enjoy fucking. For women this is usually the result of something physical: her g-spot being more easily stimulated anally, or her clitoral tissue being easily reached via anal penetration. Thus, greater pleasure from anal penetration than vaginal. Early experimentation with anal masturbation appears to significantly increase the likelihood that someone will prefer anal stimulation later in life as well.

  2. People in a dominant/submissive relationship who are turned on by the idea of denial. Here, the submissive may not always prefer anal but may find the idea of denying the vaginal sex they prefer and only being allowed to get off anally, if at all, to be very appealing.

  3. People who enjoy the idea of reprogramming themselves and using their bodies in ways “not intended”. Let’s face it, even if anal sex seems more natural to some of us, from a biological, reproductive perspective, vaginal sex is what nature intends. So by refusing to use her vagina at all and only having sex anally, a woman may feel as though she is subverting her body and taking more control of how she uses it for her pleasure. This can be immensely appealing to some women. Couple this with the training required to be able to have frequent anal sex and making her anus her primary sex organ is something this sort of woman can’t ignore. The idea of remaining a vaginal virgin for life while having regular anal sex can be appealing to some of these women as well.

  4. People trying to save their virginity. Usually from religious or conservative families, these women refuse to have vaginal sex until marriage but will often engage in anal and oral out of a belief that those don’t count for virginity. Say what you will about their belief system, at least it leads to an early introduction to exclusively anal sex and produces lots of women who end up preferring anal sex for the rest of their life. (Unfortunately, a lot of these women appear to decide later in life that anal sex is sinful and not something a proper religious woman does, and stop having it even if they secretly prefer it.)

  5. Women with vaginismus and similar conditions. This involves an excessively tight vagina resulting in extreme pain from vaginal sex. In some cases it leads to increased anal tightness as well, but many women with vaginismus have reported success with anal sex even though vaginal remains painful, and they greatly prefer anal as a result and are grateful to have a way to have sex and reach orgasm from penetration.

There are likely some other reasons out there as well which I haven’t included—if you don’t fit into one of these categories, please submit an explanation of why you prefer anal and are part of or are interested in the anal only lifestyle.



So previous to meeting Sir I never imagined in a trillion years I would want to get fucked in the ass. However he has eased me into it, and now I cant wait for him to fuck me.

The last time he allowed me to cum over the phone for him I had my vibrator in my ass and came harder than I ever havr before. I feel like such a slut but I cant help it. Sir makes me feel like im able to express all my sexual desires and its great!!


Anonymous said: What is your favorite part of Anal?


That feeling when he places his cock head against my asshole for the first time, lubed with my own spit and pushes. The pressure from it and the feeling when the head of his penis finally pops into my ass is pure ecstasy.

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Discussion of the Day: Been together 10 years, married for 6 1/2 yrs, we have sex 5 times a week, but I’m still a virgin because there’s been no vaginal sex!!

When we first started dating, he liked me but also it was because even though he had sex with his wife, only regular sex, it was borring and repetitive as he put it.

I started to go out with him when I was 18, he was 38. I knew then he wanted no regular sex. So it all started with me giving him a lot of oral and anal sex. We where meeting like 5 days a week while dating, with sex every time.

When I was 22, and he was 42 was when we got married. Everything has been perfect, he is an incredible husband. But the sex still continued with mostly oral and some anal.

We have been together 10 years, married 6 1/2, we still have sex at least 5 times a week, but I am still a virgin.

He has a son, we have decided not to have children.

I am not complaining about my sex life, but I am wondering if this is an unusual situation. I can’t be the only one.

A lot of people respond in a vaguely “well, if you’re happy…” sort of way while also implying that he’s abusing her or is secretly gay. She responds again to clarify that anal sex is very enjoyable to her.

The sex is very good, I enjoy giving him oral and have found anal to be very stimulating and orgasmic sometimes.

Unfortunately, not a single person responds in a truly supportive way to let her know that there are others out there who choose to be exactly the same way and love it and that there’s nothing wrong with it if everyone’s happy with it.

Perhaps some other anal only women need to pitch in and give their point of view.

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Discussion of the Day: We have anal sex one time, and now he always wants it!

i am kinda having an issue that i don’t know how to address. me and my boyfriend tried anal a couple weeks ago. i was afraid at first but i was surprised that i actually liked it. but the problem is now that seems to be all my an boyfriend wants! i don’t mind doing it sometimes but every time we have sex now that’s what he wants. i know he doesn’t want kids any time soon and has mentioned he is afraid my birth control will fail again. (i got pregnant with my son on the pill) could this be why he wants coal all the time now? or could it be something else? and how do i tell him i don’t want to do anal as much without making him feel bad?

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Anonymous said: do you know of any websites that are geared toward women to help them learn how to have more 'comfortable' anal sex? my girlfriend shoos me away any time i go near it, i think all of her past experiences with it have her too concerned about the pain factor (i'm big, but not 'huge')

Most good anal sex guides out there (and there are quite a few) focus on this issue more than any other. You can read through the archives here, where I’ve addressed this a number of times in the past, as well as this recent response to an ask on my Anal Sex Only blog.

Fundamentally, the key is a combination of lube, gradual warmup and increase of size over as long a period is necessary, and patience. You start with small toys and/or fingers, and slowly increase the size she can comfortably fit, stopping if anything is painful and trying again later. The amount of time varies wildly from person to person, with some able to painlessly go straight to anal sex and others needing weeks or months of training first. Everybody’s different, but with the right practice/training nearly anyone can experience painless anal.


Anal sex quiz: Answers to anal sex problems

OK so we all love sex and apparently all love to talk about it too, but there’s one thing that can kill a conversation faster than the rest - anal sex.

For some reason anal sex has remained a taboo subject in the UK and getting to grips with anal sex problems can be a bit of a mystery to some.

The only place you can really find out more is in pornography and we all know it’s a lot less realistic shall we say, than what actually goes down.

But does it hurt? Is it clean? How many people actually do it? Why would I want to?

Continue reading and take quiz

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